Single Entity

AUGUST 24, 2009
9:00 am : The butler rings the doorbell and brings in our breakfast, according to the order we put in last night. She wears white gloves. My grandmother and I look out over the ocean as we drink our coffee. I am hungover from the night before: Grandma and I had martinis as the ship left New York and then champagne and hors d’oeuvres in the room, and split a $60 bottle of pinot noir at dinner (where she out-drank me by quite a bit). After Grandma fell asleep, I headed down to the nightclub, where I had a rum and coke while I watched older people try to dance. I saw no one my age, but was flirted with by two middle-aged Italian brothers, Salvatore and Guiseppe, who called me “bellissima” and spoke to me in broken English.

11:30 am : Grandma and I head out to listen to Margaret Atwood give a lecture in the planetarium. High heels, hangover, and rolling waves are not a fortunate combination. The lecture is fantastic, though; Margaret Atwood is brilliant and witty. She discusses her latest book, which I haven’t yet read. It’s a series of lectures about debt from all different angles. I’ve never read any of her nonfiction, so I’ll have to give it a try. We go to get our books signed, but I step out to the bookstore to see if I can get a copy of Oryx and Crake to send to Sylvia, and when I return, Grandma has already got my copy of The Blind Assassin signed. Oh well. I’m told there will be another signing later.

1 pm: Grandma and I have lunch together and look at the shops on Deck 2. She considers buying a $300 Hermes scarf and some jewelry and ignores all signs that say “Fragile, please ask for assistance before handling”. We then return to the cabin to read for a while. Grandma takes a nap, and I end up dozing on the couch.

5 pm: I go to the gym for a bit, where immediately upon entering, I am greeted first by Guiseppe and then Salvatore, who are lifting weights. They kiss me on both cheeks.

7:00 pm: Grandma has some champagne in the room while we get ready for the formal night in the dining room, and then we head to the Queen’s Grill Lounge – reserved for those of us with Queen staterooms, of course, where I decline a drink (still feeling rather hungover) and Grandma has a martini.

7:30 pm: We go to dinner at the Queen’s Grill. One of the waiters from our team pulls out a chair for Grandma, and I quickly seat myself and put my napkin on my lap before anyone can do it for me. I can do it myself, thanks. I try frog’s legs tonight – which aren’t bad, but are quite bony. And it’s strange to think “this is a frog I’m eating”. Grandma gets a bottle of Sancerre. I tell her I think I won’t drink tonight, but I’ll try it tomorrow, but she makes me have a glass. She has half the bottle herself. I can tell she’s starting to get drunk. We chat with the people at the table next to us, a very sweet British couple. They tell me about cheap airlines in Europe when they find out I’ll be studying in Scotland and want to travel around and help Grandma give me a lecture on buying port over dessert. They and Grandma exchange stories about their RV trips. I smile politely and try to think of something to say on the subject. I guide Grandma back to the room afterwards, and realize why she needs a companion. I’m starting to dread three more weeks of this.


12:30 am, August 25: Well, now I can say I’ve tried the pub. It wasn’t bad, actually, although it was exceedingly pretentious, dominated by older gentlemen in suits and tuxedos talking to other older gentlemen, with their wives by their sides. The man next to me at the bar, probably in his thirties, wearing a polo shirt, was the most casually-dressed person there. He barely said “hi” when we made eye contact, and went back to watching the television. But there was beer. Perhaps I’ll go back tomorrow night when I’m more energetic, though. I didn’t go back to the nightclub tonight – I don’t think I could handle Guiseppe and Salvatore’s attentions, and I doubt I’d have fun. I wish someone else were here to keep me company: if Emily were here, she’d drag me out to the nightclub and at least get me out of the room. And imagine the trouble Caroline and I could get up to in sexy dresses with lots of alcohol!